Musings by the 'Queen who renounced her kingdom'

I am a person who truly believes that there is always so much to do, so much to learn, so much to enjoy...and enough laziness in each one of us to put off all of the above!!

The concept of boredom has been eluding me forever, unlike most of the people i know. I am constantly battling against not having 'enough' time ( well proven by the fact that this is my 4th blog, but the first one I am actually 'posting' on!). I always had the excuse of being a part of the mincemeat existence of Mumbai city.. you are constantly being minced between people, in the train, in rush hour traffic, at work, while running the rat race, while party hopping or even while u wait for a table at your beloved Totos!

So, for more reasons than I would like to publicly state, i decided to be the bigger person ( or so i would like to believe) and take a much deserved sabbatical. I pictured myself as the leading protagonist in Robin Sharma's next, titled the "Queen who renounced her kingdom" .. ! With surprising vigour i set out on the path of discovery.. I wanted to discover a new country, a new art, new skills ,new bonds with old friends and even myself.

Time flew, I discovered the new country, I am trying to master a new skill (albeit not very successfully), have enrolled to learn a new art, have bonded literally with all kith and kin.. and now I am facing the question of having discovering myself.

Having studied a bit of psychology in college, the concept of 'existential vacuum' is something I am well versed in theory with, however I have no idea about Viktor Frankl's true renditions in my existence. I have always been acutely planned, infinitely focussed and truly passionate towards my family, my friends, my work, my play! Am i chasing my true calling.. ?? well, I am not.. I think i am living my true calling! Have I ever hated anything I have ever done, or any ties that i have forged ?..Not really, i have always loved and enjoyed most of the things I have done and people I have spent time with! Will i want to continue my life with the same fervour, excitement, passion that I have done in the last many years?.. I would Love to!!! Would i probably want another break a few years down the line to relax my muscles and rekindle my faith ... oh, i definitely would!

I do not think i can be the progeny of the monk who sold his ferrari, coz my kingdom has not come at the same cost he paid for his ferrari.. i invested in it and did not pay a price for it.. and i would love to build my kingdom and renounce it again.. and again.. and again!

An Ode to the 26/11 Victims

- 28 Nov 2008

It could have been me…

Some landmark moments of everyone’s lives involve important people, dates and places.. yes, places.. One always remembers the place where they had their first kiss, the pub where they first got drunk, their college hangout, the romantic restaurant where they were proposed to, the stiff surrounding where they met their in-laws for the first time.. etc etc..

I remember all the places that mark my life..

I belong to the suburbs, and had a dream.. a dream that involved some fruitful years at a renowned college in South Mumbai.. specifically - St.Xavier’s, Mumbai. I had never been there, seen it, or even knew anybody closely who went there.. but nevertheless, I saw myself there… and so, the minute the admission forms were out, I boarded a local train for the first time in my life, which I later found out was the ‘harbour line’ that took me till Victoria Terminus Station ( now known as CST).. I disembarked, not knowing which side to turn, or where to go, all of fifteen, I gathered myself and took my first few steps into my new world.. Yes, CST marked an important day in my life.. and on 26th November 2008, one of those people could have been me..

I got through St. Xavier’s college, thrilled, ecstatic and a little cocky, coz not everyone makes it.. I started making a list of all the places in South Mumbai I would like to explore.. no guesses there – Café Leopold topped the list.. and continued topping the list for the 5 most eventful years of my life. I have eaten meals at all hours, sipped a drink on an odd day, hung out there over a soda when I was out of cash, watched Sama Ali dissect a chicken in a manner newly learnt at finishing school, barged in during Malhar late nights, even spent over 10 hours on a particular Sunday starting off at 2pm- with Abhishek Mohanty and Vidur downing Kamekazes, Vodka and Red Bull.. and some other things that fuzz my memory even now.. Yes, on 26th November 2008, one of those people could have been me.

Time passed, I grew up, started making some money and hence started celebrating the bigger events at the posh places! Late night coffee at five star hotels were not so rare anymore.. long drives down chowpatty, at marine drive.. ahh the good days! The hot chocolate at the Oberoi Coffee shop, the Hot chocolate (again) at the Taj Colaba coffee shop, interspersed with Radhika at her loudest best and Zameer at his embarrassing best.. yes, some good days of my life. The day I met my in laws for the first time, we drove to none other than the Coffee Shop at the Taj – opposite the picturesque Gateway of India…Yes, on 26th November 2008, one of those people could have been me, my family, my best friends..

I offer my condolence to those who lost their lives, my heart goes out to those who lost their loved ones, I try and understand those who have undergone severe trauma, I salute the Police / NSG/ Commandos/ Army, I bow down to the hotel staff who suffered in the name of duty…I know that its just by chance that its all of you out there.. coz on any other day, it could have been me.